I suppose we all have our own inner demons...feelings we have to sort out... well...this is my way of dealing with them...I wrote these poems throughout the winter semester of '97; they are my purest emotions, emptied onto paper.
I hope you understand where they're coming from...they cover a point in my life where I was soul searching and looking inward alot. Inspiration was easy...I fell in love and then was spurned...these poems came out of the whole process. If I had it to do over again, it would be done the same.

Sometimes, life doesn't play along with what you expect it to do. You have to pull yourself together, nod your head, and admit that your deepest hopes and dreams cannot be. You must go on. Even if she is wonderful, exciting, and beautiful.

Artists and Poets
A Non-Sappy Poem (About us)
Late
Forever
Summer Promise
I Surrender
Underneath
Poetry=Useless
Hopeless
Immature and Suicidal in '97
Pain...also
I Reach out
Freedom (The End of the Tunnel)
I Still Believe in Love


Artists and Poets

I think artists and poets
are a little bit crazy
they feel too strongly
their emotions are overfelt

They don't just love, they love eternally
they don't just cry, they despair
they don't just know, they feel

If you belong to this group
Don't feel lucky
or special, unique
just hope you never
experience
unrequited love.

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Non-Sappy Poem (about us)

Twin poets
gemenis
soulmates, friends
learning how to be
how to learn, what to think
to laugh and to cry and hope
and worry about tomorrow

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Late

It's late and we're slightly tired
as we lounge here in the comfort
of your room.

Nothing much is going on
no excitement, no activity
No romance, no commitments
and yet, there is no place in the world
where I'd rather be
My thoughts disperse and I feel content
as I run my fingers through your hair.

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Forever

You're speaking to me
You're mouthing the words
but I hear nothing

All I see is your deep brown eyes
in their beauty
All I hear is your musical voice
my personal orchestra
All I want is to take you in my arms
and hold onto you forever.

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Summer Promise

If I might capture your heart
and keep it close to mine
I would cherish you heart
so angelic, and sweet, and divine

An eternal song
a promise kept
Beauty hidden
in a summer's day
A deep clear lake
a rose in bloom
in a field of lillies
far out of town
This love feel
cannot be quenched
It will continue to burn
until I surrender
to death.

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I Surrender

Unto you I surrender
my heart
a sacrifice
a dedication to your beauty
a monument to our mutual love
Like a blossom,
open, new,
youthful, hungry
for life
These are my sentiments
my emotions
towards you.

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Underneath

Maybe I can
you'd never know
I'd keep it to myself
keep it inside

My ancient love
supposedly dead
but living still
under the shade of friendship

There it could stay
until the day
when jealousy appears
and lifts the cover.

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Poetry=Useless

Poetry
my enemy
an entrance
into futility

No words can move mountains
no words can change hearts
no words can make lovers
no words can make make hope

Poetry
my enemy
changes nothing
destroys beauty

I thought it was simple
the solution was clear
put your thoughts into poems
to bring the angel near

But, alas, I erred
no salvation was gained
my thinking impaired
I showered in pain

Like water drips
and bubbles form
in he clear cold water
in the wake of the storm

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Hopeless

Hopeless
That's what you called me
You got it all wrong
my hope has abandoned me

Passion
whats that supposed to mean?
its what attractive people share
it holds nothing for me

Popularity
a measure
of a right to live
a right to love
the right to be
the right person.

Death
my constant passenger
even you offer no solutions
no dignity, no hope
no promise of improvement

Love
a trickster, illusions
no real substance, no reality
my heart was discarded
by an angel of mercy
Show me lovers
and I'll show you loners
Show me hope
and I'll show you my life

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Immature and Suicidal in '97

I love you
For God's sake
Please love me back
before I break

Hanging by a thin rope
with shifty hands
But still I cling
where will my body land?

Will they pick me up?
will I be fit to bury?
Will they find my corpse
Before the crows get to me?

A short drop
a quick end
a fast remedy
for a short life

We are separate
not together
So I will die
and burn forever.

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Pain...also

They're in love
I'm in love
I'm alone
What's the problem?

Your voice cuts the silence
sharp
stings, hurts
puts a lump in my throat
I feel so empty

Can't, won't, can't accept it
love, so plainly in reach
swirls away, flighty
taunting me
your voice is a beacon

Your hair is imprinted on me
your eyes have seized my heart
your youth has overridden me
your very existence, a charm
I smell your sweetness
forbidden beauty

Why do I pine still for thee?
my mind is no fool
I should probably forget
and move on with my life
Jealousy is my companion
and loneliness, my wife

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I Reach out

I reach out to you,
a tiny butterfly
on a timid leaf
but your love is unusable
and not meant for me

I pull back, my feathers ruffled,
feeling like an ugly child
who has been punished
for ignorance or folly
and anger converts me

But not against you
misguided, yes, but hateful, no
My soul still harbours love
for tiny butterflies
despite their absence of love

The anger swerves inward
retrospective
changes, different courses of actions
might have yielded crops
might have changed your mind

Self doubt and fire
hate and anger
become bottled up inside
until I read my poems
and they become the target

Forbidden emotions demonized, they
become the enemy
because I still love you

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Freedom (The End of the Tunnel)

The last poem
you'll ever read
by my hand
is right here.

I revealed a love
too deep to see
you returned it, politely
(and I can't blame you for that)

Friendship can suffice
until you taste the nectar
of the gods, the taste of love,
and you can't go back

Please forget, forget it all
go on with love and life
I can live without you
(without a part of me...)

Friendship isn't so bad
it's functional, platonic
not intimate but comfortable
better than no contact at all

I'll try to forget
I'll kill my hope
I'll climb the hill
I'll smother the flame
Accepting reality
and letting
an angel slip away

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I Still Believe in Love

Life just sneaks up on you
but you have to live it
Unobtrusive, shallow
it pounces when ready

Love can burn you
or it can burn inside you
it can run wild
or it can run you ragged

Don't try to turn away
don't try to fight it
your serious emotions
searing inside
don't try to avoid
making the drop
taking a hit
abandoning self control
BECAUSE
love can be great
if you actually find it
although it is rare
elusive, hidden
it does exist
Love is the Sole property
of the procrastinators
and the free thinkers

Let it overwhelm you
even if it means
letting go...

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Back to Tab City

Nancy; these poems were for you.